Do you want to be their Villain or Hero? (Tutorial #2 in the Creating Oprah-Like Influence training series)
Welcome to the second installment in our ongoing series.
As a reminder, this series is a deep dive into gathering gravity so you can create your own Oprah Effect.
Oh, and by the way, it looks like, including this episode (and the first one), this series is shaping up to consist of 9 tutorial articles in total… just keeping you in the loop so you can keep track.
Ready to get to it?
The Mysteries of Marketing Telepathy Revealed
What if you had the power to read minds?
Or if you had marketing telepathy? The gift of clairvoyance where you know what someone was going to think, say, or do before they even knew?
Like a grandmaster of chess who sees checkmate 30 moves before winning, how much confidence would you have if you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, it’s not if you will establish your Oprah-like influence, but when?
Chess is great metaphor for this process and strategy. In chess, the winning strategy is the one that anticipates your opponent’s moves and leads them to make moves you want. However, even a grandmaster can’t go from opening move to checkmate in a couple moves (even if she’s playing against a novice).
It’s a process.
A winning strategy is a series of moves and counter moves all stacked on top of one another that creates the eventual outcome you envisioned from the opening move, right? See, even with telepathy, you still have to lead people through the process because you can’t make your next move until they make theirs.
You can’t force, push, or rush them because implementing your winning strategy depends on their willingness to engage and continue to play the game all the way to the end.
You can create an environment that makes them enjoy and eagerly anticipate playing with you.
They still control the speed by which they follow your lead, however.
Before you get too lost in this game metaphor, let me make it absolutely clear that you never want to think in terms of winning and losing.
Even though they’ll be working against you at early stages of the process, they’re never your opposition to be beat into submission. No. When they decide to make you their trusted advisor, you both win.
Seriously.
And they are the bigger winner because they’ll only trust and respect you that deeply when you help them experience a bigger future with you in it (and if you’ve never betrayed them, or the faith they’ve placed in you).
Their Mental Journey to
Your Oprah-Like Powers
Influence is 100% mental. It’s THEIR mental journey, NOT yours!
Think of gathering gravity towards creating your own Oprah Effect as the penthouse of a 7-story building without an elevator. With you living in the penthouse. And, the only reason your potential followers aren’t living in the lap of luxury with you is because they’re trapped outside.
Your first job is to show them inside and entice them in out of the cold to check out your lobby.
Your second job is to invite them to climb the secret staircase to the second floor.
Your third job is to ease their fears enough so they’ll make it successfully to the second floor without running back outside..
You can’t lead and encourage them to climb to the third floor until and unless they make it to the second, right?
And so it goes with all 7 sets of staircases that lead them to the penthouse.
Rinse. Lather. Repeat.
You following along with me?
You can’t throw your penthouse keys out the window in a sock to a complete stranger and expect them to figure out how to (or even want to) climb all the way up and move in with you.
Now, at each point in the process, they always have 3 choices:
- They can run away from the scary unknown future they don’t trust or believe in yet; or
- They can stay put, paralyzed by fear, like a deer in the headlights; or
- They can follow you to what they hope will be a bigger future even though the mental story they’ve been telling themselves is “This is a big risk because it could backfire and cause me even more pain and suffering.”
The mental conversations they are having with themselves unconsciously will trigger 1 of those 3 possible automatic reactions.
Each of the 7 levels shifts their mind to a new conversation (and therefore a different mental program runs their show at each level). So, if you want to lead them to the upper levels of influence you have to know what those conversations are, right?
It’s the only way to trigger them to unconsciously follow you forward. Otherwise your process stops ‘em dead or makes ‘em run and hide, yes?
If you make them feel “wrong” for the feelings they have, they won’t let you lead them anywhere.
You’ve got to meet their fears (no matter how crazy, unwarranted, or irrational) with loving understanding because what they experience will always feel 100% real, and rational, from their point of view.
Remember, almost everyone starts off scared to death to trust (even though they desperately want the kind of love and connection that will eventually come if they do).
Therefore, you need to know as your process moves people through each of the 7 levels, you _will automatically _stir up their fears.
Count on it. It’s a guaranteed part of the trust building process.
However, even though they will direct their fears at you, it’s not personal (their fears are the mental “Fred Stories” they’ve conditioned themselves to believe are true).
So, instead of taking it personally and reacting to them with frustration, anger, or impatience you will treat them like your 5 year old daughter who had a bad dream and needs the safety and security of your bed, okay?
Moving From Asshole To Advisor
Here are the 7 major mental shifts a stranger goes through (and what they’ll unconsciously be thinking about trusting you at each stage):
- The “You’re An Asshole” Mindset
- The “You’re A Pest” Mindset
- The “You’re On Probation” Mindset
- The “You’re Like Me” Mindset
- The “You’re An Authority” Mindset
- The “You’re A Leader” Mindset
- The “You’re MY Advisor” Mindset
Before we can do a deep dive into any of these, let me ask you a question: What instant reaction did you have when you read “You’re An Asshole” above?
Did it offend you? Did you take it personally?
Well, I’m not trying to offend you, but you do need to understand that’s often how your ideal lifetime fans will start out thinking about you. They won’t tell you, but that’s the recording they have running in their minds.
It’s just a mental defense mechanism.
So, look at the 7 stages.
It’s really a roadmap for how a deep relationship unfolds, isn’t it? As they move up each level, their resistance dissolves a bit more. And their trust strengthens a bit more.
A level 1 program makes their fears about you, your solutions, and your vision for the bigger future you see possible… will run at an all time high.
When they shift into level 2, fear dissolves a tiny bit, which creates some microscopic openness.
At levels 2 & 3, fear is still the primary driver, but less and less as they ascend up your influence ladder.
As fear dissolves more and more, trust has the opportunity to show its face. When they shift into a level 4 conversation the fear-trust scale in their minds finally tips slightly in your favor for the first time. It hasn’t tipped far enough to the trust side to influence their actions…
…however, it is the foundation you need to continue building your Oprah Effect.
Now, it’s not till they shift into a level 5 mindset that the trust scales tip deep enough into the respect mindset that triggers the belief they need in order for them to dare to do business with you for the first time.
Please read that last sentence several times.
It’s the key.
Notice you have to lead them all the way to level 5 on the influence ladder before they’ll ever do business with you for the first time. This is where most screw it up and why they’ll never enjoy Oprah-like gravity.
You see, almost everyone assumes that complete strangers are already having a level 5 or 6 mental conversation. Can you see what’ll happen if you attempt to communicate with a stranger you are convinced already sees you as an authority… yet their mindset is actually at level one?
It’s total mismatch.
When you ignore the first 4 levels (or try to skip any steps, or try to push people faster than they’re willing to ascend through the levels), and go straight to influencing their behaviors, you trigger their fight or flight unconscious reactions.
It’s because their level 1 (or at best 2-3) recordings, blocks out everything that’s too far ahead of their current mental conversations (beliefs).
Now, interestingly enough, they can hear any of the lower level conversations from their current position, but never the upper level ones. This means they can shortcut, sidestep, or rush up your influence ladder, but you can’t.
Depending on their personality type (and past conditioning), they may be more open and therefore habitually comfortable at, say, level 3 on the influence ladder in every new situation. That may be their lowest level.
However, you can’t assume that to be the case.
If you want the gather gravity for your own Oprah Effect, you MUST assume everyone starts at the lowest level “You’re An Asshole” mental conversation and lead them up the relationship ladder, systematically, from there… at their pace.
This covers all your bases.
You’ll meet most of the world where they already are: in their distrust of the unknown.
While it still allows those rare open-minded folks to skip themselves several rungs up your influence ladder.
Ya pick’n up what I’mma lay’n down?
Hope so because in our 3rd installment in this series, we’re gonna explore how the first, fear-based, mental conversation works (and how you can help resolve it with your POP).
Talk soon.
Series Table Of Contents
~ Access Part 1 HERE;
~ Access Part 2 ABOVE;
~ Access Part 3 HERE;