Episode 11: The Truth Behind Why Motivation Sucks – Post Pandemic Freedom Show

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Episode 11: How the B.O.S.S. Fred Pile Sabotages Your Success

Joshua and Dr.Wayne reminisce about 4th grade and use imaginary 6th grade bullies as an analogy for how we get stuck in the air on our results seesaw. And Joshua finally reveals what B.O.S.S. stands for.

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Transcript

Welcome to the Post Pandemic Freedom Show brought to you by Bold Molders. Today, I’m Dr. Wayne Buckhanan, like most days, and this is my friend Joshua Shafran.

Like most days, also. Although, sometimes I feel like Wayne!

We’ve been talking about, about success seesaw. And we got to this interesting statement of motivation sucks. So, do you mind if I do my check in and make sure that I actually have, you know, quiz myself on all this stuff that we’ve done so far?

Do you want me to bring the slides up?

Yeah. So I know we’re getting the motivation sucks. Let’s do the recap to get there. Because I know that that’s part of it, you know, important to know that, here’s how we got to this lovely statement, because nobody’s going to just buy that statement as it sits. So I know we’ve got the recap, just scroll down, or Yeah, it’s okay. Well, on through there. I know we’ve been talking about entering the mastery zone from the context of the zero factor, we don’t want either the inner game or the outer game to be zero, because when we multiply them together, we get a big fat, goose egg. So we talked briefly about the tool that you suggest for the outer game WMN compass, we talked about this seesaw as the inner game tool that, by the way, also covers inner game. Nice. Let’s see what else you showed the next slide. So I got a hint. That’s where we’re going. Next is let’s go look at the seesaw. Yeah, that’s what I said already. Good. Okay. This, in case folks don’t know, this whole idea of, you know, can I reconstruct this argument? Can I come up with these ideas? Can I follow the flow is a great way to test your mastery of the content, but also, that struggle to go Okay, wait, what was next is actually part of the learning process, and is really helpful. So if you’re not playing along at home, pause and play well. So we talked about the fulcrum to look see. And the idea that that’s the direction we want to build this is start with tuning into who it is that we would have to be in order for that evidence to start showing up and getting the results that we really want, and not try the other way around and say those are the results I want. These are the things I gotta do. And then maybe I’ll become that person who could do that. Because we know how rarely that happens.

Okay, so up, not down.

Yes. Okay. Because it’s really hard to build a pyramid from the top down. Right? That?

I would assume so yes.

I picturing all the scaffolding that would be required, that would be horrific. All right. And we talked about this idea of when our seesaw top is sitting there, and it’s balanced, we can, you know, we can do the thing. And we can test and doesn’t take a whole lot to make things shift. And the 1234 fives, I’m trying not to look at the bottom, but I already did. So ones are the passing thoughts. And then if we let those become habitual thoughts, then they can turn into beliefs turn into core beliefs turn into expectation, or facts or that reality that we allow ourselves to live in. Right, and I see that we’ve got them going both directions, because if you either towards the side you do or don’t want, the more that things build up, the more stuff that’s happening there. And last time, we ended with the idea that if we push down on the side, we want our default as overachievers and, you know, we want to go out and do big things. So we’re going to use all that motivation to push down on that side. That’s where we ended with the premise of motivation sucks. So then, I think our next slide is showing, okay, great, I got the thing I wanted with motivation. And that’s what everybody picture is happening, right? We’re just gonna push down that side, we’re gonna use our motivation, we’re gonna get the stuff we want on that. So I’m gonna use

all of our, all of our grit, determination and hard work ethic and force and just make it happen, right, which is great.

And, in an ideal world, we wouldn’t even need a whole lot of it, we would just push down gently, and it would go down on that side, right as a kid, anything that I remember, going out there and going, all right, I’m gonna put this end on the ground. And, you know, even as a little kid, you could grab it and if you had to walk from the middle of the seesaw and walked out, and guess what, down goes that end. Awesome. However, I think our next point is, that’s assuming that it’s balanced at it. It’s not, is it? That’s why I think that’s why I think we’re, you’re saying that motivation sucks.

Well, what ends up happening is that our unconscious conditioning in all of our past stacks up in on different subjects, it’s it, we have different expectations, and we have different things that we believe are possible for us based upon all the things that we’ve been discussing up till now. And if you’ve been playing along, and I hope that you are, you’ve gotten some real insights into your own way of approaching this, but what ends up happening is that we’ve got stuff on subjects that are weighing us down based on our past, and the past stacks up. And but because we’re not consciously thinking about it, we’re not consciously aware of it, what ends up happening is that we think it doesn’t exist. So we think what we’ve got is just a free flowing seesaw like this, where we can touch down on any side, and that there’s nothing waiting us down. But in fact, unconsciously, there’s a whole bunch of stuff a whole bunch of our past unconscious conditioning that is weighing us down, and keeping it on certain subjects firmly rooted in the unwanted. So what ends up happening is that we’ve got to overcome, we’ve got to use force, we’ve got to rely on motivation to overcome so much, and the instant that this teeters and notice that that this is kind of teetering on purpose is that the instant that this lets up, because you can’t run all out in all directions, then this takes over and we have the snapback loop, which is boom, crush. Now you’re in firmly rooted in what you don’t want to have happened, even though you are aware of the toon looksee process, consciously, but what you’re doing is you’re using force, you’re using a collector’s mentality to force the seesaw down, and you’re trying to ignore the weight on the other end. And just Alright, well, I’ll just, you know, if something’s pushing back, I’ll push back twice as hard. And that will work until it doesn’t anymore. And that’s where burnout comes from. That’s where unhappiness that’s where depression, anxiety, all of those things happen because of that energy that you’re fighting against it.

I happen to have this mental picture of a bunch of fourth graders pulling down on that right hand side, like I’m sitting on the seesaw is a fourth grader and there’s Fred, that bully sixth grader sitting on the other end of the seesaw. But all my friends are helping and we’re piling on and we got us all we got enough, we touched down but as soon as we did some, you know, we as soon as somebody lets up, guess what, I’m gonna go flying and end up with splinters in my backside. Right?

Right. It’s like, here’s your, your, your six year old bully or whatever, that sitting on that. And here’s you up here, just Dang. Yeah, Help me Help me Help me. The point is that this is in control of the results that you see. Now, there’s something that you should be aware of, and that’s on other subjects. It’s exactly the opposite, where it’s firmly rooted. And you’ve got this without the motivation, you could. So take the motivation off the equation here. And there’s things where you’ve got the exact opposite, where you’re routed on a subject matter where it’s absolutely a foregone conclusion, you know, nobody can tell you that you can’t write a JavaScript script code for something, right? I mean, like, you got this, you can figure it out. Maybe there’s some some challenges that you got to map out. But but there’s no, there’s no question. There’s no uncertainty in the mix. It’s done. And you will get the result eventually, that you want to get based upon

that. And I love that. In those cases, it’s not I don’t need motivation. It’s just okay, yeah, I’m gonna get it done. So it’s not this picture because I don’t need to pile all my friends on and pull down that side of the seesaw. Right? It just, I do it. It’s what I do. Right? I solve technical problems. It happens. It

doesn’t require any motivation because there’s zero uncertainty that you can get the result and the outcome that you’re looking for. Motivation implies that it’s outside of you that motivation implies that you need something beyond your capabilities to get the results that you want to get. You want to have happen. The way that I think about motivation is motives for the actions that we take. And if you’re looking for motives to take a specific action, it’s always outside yourself. It’s always by somebody else or something else that’s outside of us, that’s giving us that motive, that reason why we’re taking the action that we’re taking?

Yeah, I’ve I’ve definitely had to wrestle with that. Because I know you’ve said this motivation sucks in the past, I’ve wrestled with it, because that’s what I do. Obviously, if you haven’t seen enough episodes to hear me do it on screen, like, is that true? How does that work?

I mean, being a critical thinker, and you’re pushing back if you’re not just agreeing outright, and that’s how you, you know, and that’s how I’m gonna grow to because if I can’t hold up to the pushback, then then I must have some some work to do.

Yeah, and so far haven’t hit any points. But it’s, it’s always okay. How do I reconcile this with what I already know? So I know are there Fred stories I have to bump to make this actually palatable for my psyche?

See, for me, the replacement is inspiration versus motivation. Inspiration comes from within its power versus force. Motivation, to me is forced, I’ve got to force it, beat it up. And and I’ve got to look for the next technique, the next hack, the next breakthrough that may or may not work for a limited period of time or the next strategy. But it’s something outside of myself, that’s going to that’s going to create the results that I want to create, rather than saying, hey, wait a minute, how do I expand who I am and use inspiration to then move forward and inspired action never requires force, it’s, it’s a million times more powerful than motivated action or forced action. So whatever you call, it doesn’t matter. Get the feeling behind it and connect with the that and you’ll get the heart space that I’m talking about?

Yeah, and I know, you accidentally slipped to the next slide, which has all of that there. I actually hit the as I was wrestling with it, however, many weeks ago, the idea of okay, if it’s not, if motivation is external, what’s the internal equivalent, and I came up with engagement, but maybe that’s because of my background, but it’s, you know, I’m now I’m going does that still work? Engagement? Alright, it

doesn’t explain to me what you mean by engagement. So help me understand that. So yeah. Yeah,

the the, coming at it from the idea of if I need to have this external motivation, versus what’s the internal thing that gets me going, it’s, oh, I’m engaged with this subject with this task with what I’m, you know, the outcome that I’m going after. But engagement for me, is something that has to come from the inside, even if it’s prompted by the outside, I was

just gonna say You took the words right out of my mouth, because you can’t it. You can’t have engagement if you didn’t decide to be engaged. And what does it mean? When I was in college and in trade school, in between high school and college, the way that I had to learn because of my learning disabilities was I had to see how does this make sense to me? Like, how does this apply this theory? How does this apply in my life and this situation, and I would play a game, I couldn’t stop studying until I saw it in operation in my life. But that’s internal that’s in in spirit that’s in inner, you know, it wasn’t because I needed to pass the test that I was studying this stuff, because that’s just rote memorization that never worked for me. And I could never do that. But once I applied it to a particular situation in my life, then you could ask the question in, you know, 100 different ways, and it wouldn’t stop me because it, I figured out how it made sense inside of my life, and how it would apply to a particular situation, whether it was in my finance and insurance and future value of money, training programs in college, or whether that was learning about airfoils in trade school. The same thing, you know, like I had to figure out how to how to make it make sense, but that was an internally driven thing, like you just said,

Yeah. And the whole Mark Twain quote about I never let schooling get in the way my education like, yeah, we need to know why we’re learning something rather than anyway, that’s a whole nother rant that will go into a different dribbling back to this idea of engagement and inspiration. I wonder if they are similar, you know, just different facets on the same gym. Like these are different ways, but they’re all you know, whichever one works in the moment for you to own and step into and say okay, but this is internally driven.

Well, and again, don’t get caught up on the labels because that can be have an excuse to stay hiding out and playing a smaller game. I know I did this for a long time. Let me figure this out why? What does he mean by this label I and I can’t move on until I have this figured out until I figured this all out. And it took me a long time to realize that was my way of hiding. That was my way of not facing the stuff that I really wanted to do. And I saw it show up in so many different areas. Even after I became quote, unquote, super successful, it was an excuse to continue chasing my tail and stay within that the zone of comfort where the zone are familiar, where I didn’t have to venture too far into the known unknowns. And I definitely didn’t have to risk going out on that the skinny branches of the stuff that I don’t even know that I don’t know, because that’s Whoa. And I had defined that as being like, if I don’t know something, and I admit to that, then I’m weak, I’m stupid, I’m I must be a complete loser. And, you know, like, I can’t

prove left hand side feelings.

Yep. Yep. But that’s, that was the stories that were running me for sure, you know, on particular subjects. So that that ended up motivating me to never shut up to, you know, to never admit to being wrong to never apologizing, you know, all the typical stuff that ends up happening when you get attached to it looking a certain way. And it was because it was, for me fearful.

So what’s one thing people can do today to shift from that motivation external side to the inspiration or engagement internal side,

where people can spend some time focused on this is start to think about, you know, areas of your life, like in that the pandemic may be brought to your attention, where you used to be able to create results, without a lot of effort without a lot of force. And now all of a sudden, to create the similar results or even lesser results, you have to work really hard at it and force it and it feels like you know, it’s lasting less time and you’re not enjoying it, and at the same time, you’re burning yourself out. So as part of a practical what to do is look for the areas that you feel burned out that you feel frustrated that you’re not getting the results, that you’ve been working legitimately hard to get those results and just isn’t working. And you know, or it works for a very limited period of time before the snapback and just evaluate it, look at it, put on your white lab coat. Pretend you’re a scientist and just look at it, observe it from above as though you don’t have any attachment to how it looks as though it doesn’t define you in any way shape or form. What happened, it says nothing about you as a person, or as anything else, it just is something that is and just observe it from from that level. And just notice it. And then when any type of an emotion comes up, that gets triggered or whatever, just say, Huh, yeah, isn’t that interesting? Isn’t that interesting that that’s what ended up happening. And you’ll start to be able to unwind it in terms of the to look see process and be able to go play the tape backwards, and say, Alright, well, I was seeing this result. And I didn’t like the results that I was seeing. And it’s burning out, which must have meant that I was looking for this this types of things in this evidence or whatever. And that well, then evidently, I was tuning into I was filtering in this area. And that wasn’t serving me. So now I can then play the tape backwards. So that’s what I would recommend in terms of that. Would you augment that in any way?

I just love that. No matter how far down the path you are, you know, the iron sharpens iron that like oh, yeah, there’s a thing. I had one come up while we were chatting, like good. Got it. we’ll unpack that later. But tag that for later. But yeah, just that, okay. Even when you’re, you know, 1520 35 years into this process of unpacking your stuff. There’s still moments

is just unconscious conditioning. And the reason why you’re unpacking it is because it is invisible. It is that invisible operating system that now you’re making visible. And guess what the instant that you make it visible. It’s no longer unconscious. Yep, it’s really kind of simple. It’s so simple. We make it complicated.

So what other simple things should folks do between now and next episode?

Well, I hope that you’re using Wayne’s post pandemic abundance playbook as the kind of the guide to follow along with each of these episodes so that you can use it as the the exercise As in there, because it does apply, even though he’s not rewriting the 28 pages each time, it applies evenly to all of the different things that we’re doing here. And you will get a new sense a new experience of it and be able to go from the general that we talked about here to the specific as it applies and needs to be implemented in your specific life and situation, so that it will work given what your goals and desires are. And given where you are right now and what your background is. So, you know, it’s kind of a unique report and that it molds to you and grows with you as you expand and grow and move into different levels of, of post pandemic, freedom and abundance. And the way to get that report, if you don’t already have it is you can go to post pandemic abundance.com and that will be the direct link that will redirect you over to Gumroad where you can download it for free and enjoy it print it out. And away we go. So that’s what I would recommend.

Sounds good. Until next time,