How to Stop Gathering Gravity that Repels People (Tutorial #3 in the Creating Oprah-Like Influence training series)
Hey!
Here’s your 3rd helping (so to speak) of our deep dive into how to create your own Oprah Effect.
And, just in case you missed either of the preceding parts this third in our 9-part tutorial series, part 1 is here and part 2 is here. If you try to start here, you will be lost. Each tutorial builds on top of, and depends on, what we’ve covered in the last one.
So I strongly suggest you start at the beginning with the first in the series. And, with that said…
Let’s do this!
LEVEL 1
The Fear Based,
“You’re An Asshole”
Mental Conversation
Level 1 is the bottom rung on your Oprah Effect ladder. You might be wondering if there’s any influence down here at all?
Tons!
With the “You’re An Asshole” mindset, you wield major amounts of influence. It just so happens to repel instead of attract, right? At this stage of the process, you definitely influence them:
Their mindset triggers automatic actions to avoid you like the plague.
See, it’s always easier (and feels safer) to say “no” rather than to give someone (or something) you don’t know the benefit of the doubt. Fear runs this “Fred Story” 100%.
And, fear always triggers an unconscious fight or flight reaction, does it not?
As a result, at this first stage of entry, the pack you want to lead will be at the highest state of alertness. With mental alarms blasting,
“Warning! Asshole on the horizon. Pain approaching! Look out! You’ve been warned! Avoid! Avoid! Avoid!”
They’re scared of you. They will blow up all their past fears, worries, and “boogiemen” nightmares bigger than life and attach it all to you.
Their walls of resistance (though will shatter easily with the right approach) will never be stronger than at this moment. Because their automatic mental conversations filters out anything that doesn’t support their current mindset. They simply can’t hear anything other than their imagined fears.
Ever watch the TV show, “The Dog Whisperer?” Cesar has 3 rules a pack-leader must follow when introducing yourself to a dog for the first time:
- No touch;
- No talk; and
- No eye contact.
Because if you try to pet, praise, or look at them before passing their sniff test, they assume that you are challenging them.
You trigger their curiosity instincts, instead of defenses, by entering their space and going about business without acknowledging them at all. This simultaneously lowers their defenses and raises their curiosity.
You’ve passed the first test: They ain’t running or attacking, YET.
See, at this first level, your only goal is to enter their environment without friction. For people the “space” isn’t physical proximity like it is for dogs. You’re introducing yourself into their conscious awareness.
Their mind-space.
At this point, your goal is NOT even to trigger their curiosity (that happens at level 2, when they come to you, cautiously). Your job is to slightly soothe the irrational fears automatically triggered by entering their mind-space.
Notice my _“slightly soothe” _choice of language. If you try to completely solve or eliminate their fears before they acclimate to your presence, it’s the equivalent of lunging to love on a dog before she welcomes you (you’re more likely to get bit than sniffed if she hasn’t yet come to her own decision to check you out).
But this is great news because it’s much, much easier to slightly soothe than it is to solve. In fact, it’s just a matter of entering their mind-space for a few seconds without adding any fuel to their fears.
Because their “You’re An Asshole” mental conversation quickly burns itself out IF you DON’T pour gasoline on it.
Do you get the power this gives you?
Fear controls the momentum and direction of the conversation. So, you simply trigger the conversation; don’t add any more to the fear side of it; and it dissolves itself.
Now, once the “You’re An Asshole” conversation dissolves, they will instantly replace it with the “You’re A Pest” mindset. They automatically move themselves up to the second level without you having to do anything else!
That’s why it’s said that a good approach gets you 90%+ of the way to the finish line.
And it’s also why it’s almost impossible to recover from a bad approach no matter what else you do.
See, the first 3 levels are more about what you don’t do, rather than what you do, do! (Yeah, I heard it. I said, “do-do” — Hahahahaha!)
Whatever.
The point is the conditioning starts with teeny-tiny baby steps and grows exponentially with each level up the ladder.
And, because you now know what to expect with this process, you can meet your peeps with love and understanding, right?
Coolio.
In the next tutorial in this series, we’ll discover how to work with the level two fear based narrative you’ve led them to…
By the way, can you feel your gravity gather’n?
Series Table Of Contents
~ Access Part 1 HERE;
~ Access Part 2 HERE;
~ Access Part 3 ABOVE;
~ Access Part 4 HERE;