The “Finally! Someone gets it, and gets me. Maybe I’m not alone?” Feelings of Hope (Tutorial #6 in the Creating Oprah-Like Influence training)

Hello again,

Well here we are at part 6 of our 9 part gathering gravity series on how to can create your own Oprah Effect.

Here’s the reminder: The tutorial below is part of a series that starts with the first one and each in the series builds on the one that came before.

So, if you just stumbled onto this article as your first exposure to this series (or if you’ve missed any of the preceding parts), you can access Part 1 HERE… and Part 2 is HERE… and Part 3 you’ll find HERE… and you can click HERE for Part 4… and Part 5 is waiting for you HERE…

And, Part 6 requires no clicking because it’s right here…

LEVEL 4
The Trust Based,
“You’re Like Me”
Mental Conversation

Congrats!

As your potential followers transition into this mindset, they’ve tipped their mental scales slightly into the trust zone. That’s huge because…

…altho fear will still be there, for the first time, trust is more influential.

You not only have their full attention now, by switching to this new inner narrative about you, they’re letting you know that their passing curiosity has turned into a full blown interest in you, your story, and/or your ideas about how they can live the bigger future they want.

This level is about painting a mental picture where they become the star and see themselves getting the outcomes you show them is possible. This is the secret of turning their interest into a desire for your solutions.

This mental conversation makes them look for all the similarities they see they have with you.

It’s all about the degree they personally identify with the story, and of course, whoever the star of the story is. That’s what controls your success deepening the relationship.

And, oh, by the way, the star doesn’t have to be you (even if you’re telling the story in your voice). They just need to be able to identify with the plight of the hero’s journey (so you can tell third party stories about other people).

The star doesn’t even have to be human.

Seriously.

How about a common flea (like the insect you keep your pets clear of) as the star? Think I’m crazy?

Well, you can see it for yourself right here. It’s all about Sir Fred, the flat-headed flea. And, if you’ve ever been stuck, and no matter what you try (or how hard you work) nothing seems to get you unstuck, see if Fred speaks to you.

You might be shocked by the meaningful connection you feel to him.

Anyways… The key is getting people to connect emotionally with the star’s highs and lows.

You want them to relive the star’s pain as you tell the story. If they actually feel the challenges it becomes “real” to them. When they connect to the pain on a gut level, not only we automatically want relief, it also makes “their” victory taste so much sweeter, ya dig?

It makes them understand, appreciate, and truly value your solutions. Plus, now it’s their idea to want the solution(s) that can relieve the pressure valve on their suffering.

Ever shared a tough, challenging, or traumatic experience with someone? I mean lived through it together (not share in the sense of telling them about it afterwards). A special bond gets created at the same time, right? Don’t you feel a special connection with them because of a commonality others just can’t fully understand or appreciate?

See, when they share an emotional experience with you (even if you’re not the star and it’s not your story specifically), a bond is created between them, the star, the story, AND the storyteller.

Now they start to feel a level of comfort and familiarity with you.

It’s the beginning of trust because we trust people we think are like us. We feel like we “know” someone if their story rings true to us (interestingly enough, they don’t really know you at all, but because it feels like they know you, they assume you know them).

We like people who we believe are like us.

At the beginning of this mental conversation they have qualified themselves as being a good candidate to potentially follow your leadership.

However, even if you successfully direct this conversation so they feel like they know and like you, they still aren’t ready to do business with you until they get to level 5 or higher inner narrative about you.

At the end of this mental conversation you will only have the “know you” and “like you” parts established with them. But that still leaves 2 more of the 4 big pieces to the puzzle required before someone will risk doing business with you for the first time:

1. Know you;
2. Like you;
3. Trust you; and
4. RESPECT you.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Respect.

People won’t like you until they feel like they know you.

And, while, yes, if someone gets to know and like you, it means they also trust you, it’s not yet a buying trust. It’s not yet a trust in you being qualified to lead or give ’em advice.

And, in fact, if they chose to stay stuck in this level 4 mindset, they’ll never trust you enough to follow your vision or guidance to the promised land.

Think about all the people you know and like enough to call them an acquaintance, friend, close friend, or even a besties.

How many of them are qualified to lead you?

How many of them do you trust enough to guide you because their results and life are clearly far superior yours?

You might have a couple people you trust and respect to that level, but it’s nowhere near the total number of people you know and like, is it?

Just because you know and like someone does that automatically mean you trust and respect them enough to give them money and follow their advice?

No way.

So don’t jump the gun and expect people to submit to, or comply with, your directions without first earning their respect (as will begin to happen at level 5 and above).

This is your time to build enough of a bond and connection so they recognize all the ways you’re like them… so they feel like they know and like you… where their inner dialogue sounds like,

“You know, as much as I hate to admit it, this gal/guy is actually kinda cool. They ain’t the evil, bloodsucking leech I thought. I’m still very, very skeptical because they need to show me proof, but damned if I’m not enjoying getting to know them.”

Besides connecting and getting them identifying with you, the key to getting them to replace this mental conversation with the next one is working elements of proof into your story. Because they need to be able to easily justify to themselves that your solution(s) is better than everything else available to them.

They need you to give them supporting proof for what makes you unique.

So start brainstorming about the missing ingredient(s) you bring to the table that they can’t get from anyone (or anything) but you?

How have others benefited? Why is it exclusive? Special? Powerful? Limited? How is your point of view different and therefore can help snap them out of the routine that hasn’t worked for ‘em?

Don’t make a statement or assertion without backing it up with all the reasons why.

Why? Why? Why?

They need justification that what you’re sharing is not only true… and also why it’ll work for THEM… and why they don’t have to be you to see it work.

After the emotional connection is made (or, better yet, at the same time), it’s all about piling on all the reasons why.

Hit ‘em with everything you’ve got so there’s no reason (or excuse) remaining and they’ll go from only being interested to actually desiring your solutions!

And desire just happens to be the doorway to their next inner narrative.

Which’ll be coming your way in the 7th installment of this series 😉

See you soon.

Series Table Of Contents

~ Access Part 1 HERE;
~ Access Part 2 HERE;
~ Access Part 3 HERE;
~ Access Part 4 HERE;
~ Access Part 5 HERE;
~ Access Part 6 ABOVE;
~ Access Part 7 HERE;