page title icon Episode 2: Three Blind Spots Keeping You From Achieving Freedom On YOUR Terms – Post Pandemic Freedom Show

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Episode 2:

We all have blindspots. These 3 are ones that keep us from reaching our goals and plague us “overachievers” more than your average bear. And what do you do about them? https://PostPandemicAbundance.com is a good place to start.

Joshua and Dr.Wayne chat about blind spots in general, the three big ones that Joshua has identified as keeping folks like us from reaching our ultimate goals, and the big thing that keeps us “stuck” in any area of our lives. (Hint: it is all about that Jung quote.)

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Transcript

Dr.Wayne
0:00

Welcome to the Post Pandemic Freedom show. Brought to you by Bold Molders. I’m Dr. Wayne Buckhanan, and I’m here with …

Joshua
0:08

Joshua Shafran. And I don’t have a doctor or doctorial degree or any credentials of the sort, just hard knock life.

Dr.Wayne
0:19

Graduate of the school of hard knocks.

Joshua
0:22

Yeah, yeah. In the trenches on the frontlines of business.

Dr.Wayne
0:27

Yeah. And I think that that’s really powerful that we both come from all these different directions, come together and have this discussion because we definitely have different perspectives. And we end up merging in the end, it’s always blows my mind like, “Wait, we both came to the same idea from different directions and different backgrounds” and okay, that’s cool. I know today we are…

Joshua
0:50

You mean the universe is universal?!

Dr.Wayne
0:52

Oh, I don’t know. I wouldn’t go that far. Which is ironically, part of what we’re talking about today. So I know that you have a lovely Carl Jung quote that we keep coming back to. Are you going to throw that up on the screen?

Joshua
1:08

Sure. Let’s move over to the fancy slide.

Dr.Wayne
1:16

Yeah. “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

Joshua
1:23

It’s, it’s so profound. And I love this quote, and I didn’t discover it until I’ve been doing this work for many years. And of course, Jung said it back in, I don’t know the turn of the century of the, you know, the 1900s, or there abouts at that point.

Joshua
1:41

And it’s so brilliant to me, because when you break it down, it is the journey to live the life that you want to live on your terms. So that you can achieve what you want to achieve. You can create the post pandemic freedom and the life that you have decided that is right for you, making the impact that you know that you’re supposed to make.

Joshua
2:09

I don’t know who actually said this, quote, I’ve been looking for the source to be able to credit them. But “you haven’t come this far to only come this far.” And it’s such a profound statement because I think we all have this higher calling. And we talked about this in the previous episode about you know, waking up that inner Bold Molder, but this is the key to it. It is the journey of actually waking up the Bold Molder that lives in all of us.

Dr.Wayne
2:35

I know, I ran into this idea, I hadn’t seen the quote until you expose me to it. But I ran across it from two very different directions. One being on the NLP side of things, it leads right up to the edges of this and doesn’t say it as explicitly in general, right, that all of the things that we do are driven by our unconscious. And if we can actually uncover some of that, which is why I love NLP so much, that, then we have a little more control over it. And we’re no longer being directed by fate, if we will.

Joshua
3:11

Yeah, yeah. You know, it’s funny, because when I first got introduced to this concept, it wasn’t through this quote, but the ideas were very similar to what you’re talking about, from your experience with NLP. It wasn’t NLP, but it was, you know, through the personal development work that I had done. And basically, they were saying that, you know, you have two choices in life that you can live from your vision and have that be your come from, or you can live from the circumstances that you’re that you’re stuck with.

Joshua
3:40

And when somebody said that, to me the first time, I was not polite about calling them out on it and saying that’s bullshit. You know, like, no, no way like, like, I didn’t choose this, you know, like, this is just like, if the situation is the circumstance, that is not allowing me to do what I want to do. As soon as we fix that, then I can…

Joshua
4:04

But then I started to see that it was my past that was controlling me. It was my past conditioning, my past beliefs. Whether you call them limiting beliefs or empowering beliefs, all a belief is by definition is is a limitation. It’s it’s a limiting, you know, thought and that’s all a belief is really.

Joshua
4:29

But when you think about like the unconscious … where did they come from? You know, it came from some sort of past experiences or somebody that taught me something or conditioned me. Whether it was school of hard knocks in you know, in the mud, the blood and the flood of dealing with the daily life, or actual lessons that were passed down in the form of formal education or whatever have you

Joshua
5:02

When you realize it’s it’s just like a computer operating system, right? Where it’s it’s invisible. And you know, it’s running in the background. So of course, it’s unconscious. And but it is. It’s directing everything that we believe is the the reality is is unbendable or indisputable I guess. It’s like it is this because this is you know, it has to be this. When in fact, the “has to be this” is something that got unconsciously conditioned into us and that we’re no longer aware of it.

Dr.Wayne
5:40

And I love the operating system metaphor as a geek that definitely resonates. The version that I heard was this idea of the conscious mind is a rider on the unconscious elephant. Like we can make nudges we can, you know, encourage this elephant to do things that we want it to do. But we’re there for the along for the ride, we are not the ones actually making the choices.

Dr.Wayne
6:07

And I think that’s kind of an interesting metaphor, but it’s it’s scary to think, look, I don’t have control over this. But it’s only a metaphor. So that’s the default that we end up in is like, whoa, all this stuff. You know, if we train our elephant, well, then, you know, maybe I do want it to make good choices for me so I don’t have to think about them.

Joshua
6:29

Well, and the problem is, if we train our elephant well, so yeah, the the goal is to not have to think about all this stuff, consciously. I mean, if you can you imagine if you had to think about beating your heart, like consciously?

Dr.Wayne
6:43

I would be dead. ADHD would mean I would die very quickly.

Joshua
6:47

All of us would be dead. You know?

Dr.Wayne
6:50

“Ooo! Squirrel” I’m done.

Joshua
6:52

Exactly, exactly. I forgot to breathe.

Joshua
6:55

So of course, the goal is to have all of these unconscious systems or operating systems running our show for us. The problem is that we, as human beings, did not consciously choose what those unconscious conditioning behavior patterns are. They’re just running all the time. It’s like blowing bubbles on top of bubbles on top of bubbles where the bubbles spawn new bubbles, we don’t even see that that’s what’s going on. Well, that’s also called malware or a computer virus, where it’s just going to town and it’s the, the what do you call it, the inmates running the prison.

Dr.Wayne
7:40

Yeah, and I know that we we’ve got the three blind spots queued up. And I think that that’s a really great place to transition to that because what is it that’s keeping us in that prison?

Joshua
7:52

The blind spots are really just unconscious conditioning, right? It’s, it’s, but there’s three major pockets that I think if you’re aware of what these blind spots are, that then you know where to look for the unconscious conditioning, because at first it can become like an exercise in existential, you know, craziness. Well, if it’s unconscious, how do I know about it? And you know, which came first the chicken or the egg? You know, if a bear craps in the woods, does anybody hear it? You know? How far can you run into the woods? Halfway, because then you’re running out again.

Joshua
8:35

All of these things sound great and are funny, but at the same time, if you have a general idea on where these big, big pockets of unconscious conditioning live for us, then you can become aware of it.

Joshua
8:50

And the beautiful part about this is that the instant, you simply observe the unconsciousness, it’s no longer unconscious. So you don’t have to change it. You don’t have to beat it up. You don’t have to have it mean anything. You just have to notice it that it’s going on and the instant that you do, it’s no longer unconscious.

Joshua
9:11

And I know that sounds like overly simplistic. And it is — there’s not it’s not a big deal, you know. But you need to start off with some I mean, once you get into the habit of doing it becomes automatic. So, do you want to tee up and tease the three blind spots for the next episode? Or do you want to give it to them now?

Dr.Wayne
9:35

I think we need to unpack them. And as much as we talk about these, I always have to go “Josh, what are the three blind spots?” Not as an artifact but I’m like, ugh, I kind of, I’m getting my head wrapped around them because like I say I’ve come at this from a different direction. So I have a whole bunch of other things in my head. So…

Joshua
9:56

Which are the exact same things by the way.

Dr.Wayne
9:59

Exactly.

Joshua
9:59

And thank you for playing with me and for allowing me to fine tune this body of work and for suspending your confusion for just a second to.. Because I think that this has immense value for people to see this from a completely different point of view that they can then see some results with it.

Joshua
10:20

So at a real high level, the three major blind spots are number one is the things that you want to achieve what you choose to call freedom, what you choose to call success. Is that really your conscious choice and decision? Did you make that out of vision? Or did something get conditioned in there and just kind of automatically unfolded? And is that the elephant that you’ve been riding on that’s just riding around? And the elephant says you should want this you should want this goal or you should you should you should strive for these things in life, whatever these things are. So that’s the first major pocket of blind spots. What are your goals? And why did you choose them?

Joshua
10:36

And now I remember the next one, which I thought was the first one. That’s where you’re at now. And that blind spot around what you think your current situation is.

Joshua
11:14

Right.

Dr.Wayne
11:14

Right?

Joshua
11:15

Right. Absolutely. Yeah.

Joshua
11:17

And so there’s a gap between where you believe that you are based upon your unconscious conditioning that you’re unaware of at this moment, so it’s a blind spot for you, and where you actually are.

Joshua
11:29

Now, it’s not good or bad. It’s just is what it is, right? So it can be. It can be, you know, there’s all this heaviness that gets attached to it, like, Oh, my God, I’m bad, or, you know, those types of things like, I’m further away like reality, like, I don’t want to look at what truly reality is because it says that I’m a failure, or that I’m further away in some somehow that says something bad about me as a person. And that’s complete horseshit. Just, you know..

Joshua
12:04

Now, it’s easy for me to say that it’s a whole nother ballgame to, in the moment in the heat of the moment, be able to stop and pause for a second and go, “Oh, wait a minute, that’s just the elephant directing me to someplace that that I didn’t know.”

Joshua
12:20

So the point is that the second blind spot is where you think you are, may or may not be where you actually are. And that’s not good or bad. But if you want to get to a goal, then you have to know what you’re working with realistically, so that you can bridge that gap so that you can get the right skills and you know, unpack the right things to be able to get you where it is that you say you’d like to go?

Dr.Wayne
12:47

Well, yeah, I mean, the thing that always comes up around that one is I’m really good at lying to myself. I mean, I’m the first to admit that, like, you know, and sometimes it’s really useful. Like, if I was honest with myself about how much work was really gonna go into this thing I’m about to start, I probably wouldn’t do. Right. But I can lie to myself and say, yeah, it’s just this little thing and knowing I mean, I do know that as I unpack it, it’s gonna get more and more complex and difficult and ongoing, like, okay. Yeah, let’s get started with this thing that looks simpler than I really know, it is. Good.

Dr.Wayne
13:24

So there are useful lies. And I think one of those skills that I’ve developed over, you know, the 15 plus years of working with NLP concepts, for me has been that, you know, if I do start beating myself up, which is gonna become more and more rare, that it’s, “Oh, nope, I hear that. Stop that. Nope, that’s not what I want. Let it go.”

Joshua
13:50

Yeah, and that’s the difference between like, say, I wouldn’t even call that part of the second blind spot, because you’re consciously tricking yourself. So you’re consciously conditioning yourself, and it’s no longer … you know what I mean?

Joshua
14:06

Versus when you don’t know that you’re doing it. Now, you don’t know that you’re lying to yourself, but you think that you’re being completely transparent with yourself. I do this all the time. Well, not so much all the time anymore, because I’ve trained myself to be able to see it when I’m doing it. So I shouldn’t I guess I I still do it quite a bit, but I catch myself much closer to the moment of doing it. And I make the unconscious conscious.

Joshua
14:33

So that’s the second big pocket is that you know, if you want to make progress in anything in life in any of the major areas of freedom that you’re going for and whatever that means to you personally, great. But if you want to make progress, you got to understand what it is that you define as progress. So that’s blind spot number one.

Joshua
14:56

And then blind spot number two is what do you have to work with? Where are you starting from? So that you know, what is reality so that you’re not tricking yourself, because what ends up happening is that we get good at pretending and playing that game and lying to ourselves. But where we’re lying to ourselves is we stay stuck in the status quo where we don’t go too far away, because we’re scared that it means something about it.

Joshua
15:19

So we don’t want to look at it. And oh, that’s going to be painful to look to see that I’m not really where I am. But really, the painful conversation is something that we made up that that we chose to take on and that guess what is part of our unconscious conditioning that made that so.

Joshua
15:36

So this can become like really fractal in a positive way. Because the deeper you go with it, the more that you realize that you’re working on one little piece of the puzzle, and you’re working on the whole puzzle simultaneously, no matter how small that piece of DNA is that you’re working on to make that conscious, it spreads to the whole.

Dr.Wayne
15:58

Yeah, I mean, that the whole idea, I realized just now it’s, it’s not only about being honest with yourself, but being accurate, objectively, externally accurate, like that has to be both, you can’t just stop lying to yourself and ignore what’s really out there. You have to actually have a clear vision of what’s out there.

Joshua
16:14

Well, and the issue is if you don’t know, if you’re, if you’re lying to yourself, that’s the you know.

Joshua
16:18

You may be seeing it completely objectively as it actually is. Or it may be a subjective filter that you don’t think is a filter. So therefore, it’s not a lie in your head, but it effectively is because it’s distorting what is the truth. Right?

Dr.Wayne
16:35

Yeah. And we could go down the whole NLP path of delete, distort and generalize. And we’ll leave that for some other time.

Joshua
16:43

I mean, it’s just a different variation of my RnD method, right? I mean, it’s a different way of coming at it, but I did what you’re saying.

Joshua
16:52

Right, so the third one to me, the third blind spot is the best one of all. Because… go ahead.

Dr.Wayne
17:00

The best blind spot?

Joshua
17:03

Yeah. Yeah. Because on the other side of it is so much power. That’s all of our options. That’s where all of our possibilities live. And thank you for playing along as a good audience.

Dr.Wayne
17:14

No, I legitimately had that moment of what, how? How can a blind spot be good? Like, seriously? Oh! Oh yeah, that’s why because now that I’m reminded of the third blind spot, because, again, the blind spots are a blind spot for me, somehow, I just cannot keep them in my head long enough to really work with them. So you know, I’m a great foil for this exercise.

Joshua
17:36

Well, the reason why I think it’s the best one is because all of our potential lives there.

Joshua
17:43

We’re capable of so much more than we allow ourselves to even go for. And because of all this unconscious conditioning, because of all of the things that we you know, the elephant leading us around, what’s happened is that we’ve gotten, we’ve gotten restricted, constricted, and we’re protective. We talked about this in the last episode about the you know, playing as a collector, where we’re, we’re, “please don’t hurt me,” we need to protect what we’ve got.

Joshua
18:11

But what that means is that we have stopped dreaming, we’ve because it hurts too much to not achieve the things that we have… As a kid, when you know, ask a five year old what they want to be when they grow up. And unless they’ve, you know, already had it beaten out of them that no possible way, they’re going to tell you, I’m gonna do this, I’m gonna do that. And there isn’t an ounce of doubt in or uncertainty in their description of what they’re going to do when they grow up.

Joshua
18:40

But as we get older, and some of those things don’t come to fruition the way that we hope and pray that they would we start, “well, maybe I’ll make my decisions based upon what I believe I’m allowed to have happen,” or “what the circumstance in light of inside of this circumstance, this situation, the set of conditions, then I’ll I’ll choose this goal.”

Joshua
19:06

Instead of just saying, “if I would be guaranteed to have success in anything that I went for, what would I go for?” Right? So the the third biggest blind spot is that we limit what we allow ourselves to say that we want to achieve.

Joshua
19:24

And I’ve seen even very successful entrepreneurs, multimillionaires and even billionaires, I see limiting themselves because of that. So don’t think that just because somebody is quote unquote, “real successful” in the business world or the monetary world or the fame world or the influencer world that they have got this all figured out.

Joshua
19:49

In fact, most of them are driven to get to the next level of success because they feel like an impostor because they feel like a fraud. And that if they just get the next dollar amount or the next goal, that somehow that’s going to make everything that they’re feeling inside better.

Joshua
20:10

And so but and they’re still choosing goals that are for them, like for any normal human being like us, right? It might seem that those might be Bold Molder Goals that they’re going for. But for them, it isn’t. It’s the status quo. It’s about what it’s always been for them maybe a little bit more, or maybe they’ve gotten used to pushing it.

Joshua
20:32

But the potential is unlimited. The potential is infinite and omnipresent, that the possibilities are incalculable. And, you know, unrecognizable from this perspective. So we all could, you know, create a bigger, unprecedented bigger future. And creating results from nothing, because we said so. And for each of us, it looks different.

Joshua
20:59

But that’s why I love this third blind spot so much, because what lives on the other side of it, once you get a glimpse of it. Now you can start dreaming again, now you can start going for the big, the big things again, and you realize that it’s not the circumstances, it’s not the conditions that allow me to have a certain situation. Or allow me to, you know, I don’t have to wait for the magic ouija board or the crystal ball to to give me permission to then move forward. Right.

Joshua
21:34

Now, I know you’re fading in and out a little bit with the technology, the gods of technology have decided to make you a little blurry.

Dr.Wayne
21:44

Yeah, well, and let’s use that as a good prompt to make this really clear for folks at home. How can they do something with this today? I know you talked about making three lists. And I’m guessing that they can figure out what the headings for each of those lists are, but what do we do with them? Once we make them?

Joshua
22:01

Yeah, I would just look at those are the three major categories of your unconscious conditioning. And if we just go back to the Jung quote real quick, “until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you’ll call it fate.”

Joshua
22:17

Well, we obviously want to stop doing that. And you’ll notice that I have that quote on my whiteboard behind me. And that’s how influential it is. And that’s also why I want to have that all around me. So that I remember to make the unconscious conscious.

Joshua
22:33

If you notice the two sets of eyeballs that are overlooking each side of the quote behind me, that’s to remind me of the objective observer to simply look at the unconscious conditioning, objectively. And so that’s the what I would recommend as the how, as the what to do to actually get some experience with this is look at those three categories, the three blind spots again.

Dr.Wayne
23:01

Remind me again.

Joshua
23:01

And okay, so the first one is, what are the goals that you’re choosing to live by? What are you trying to accomplish? What do you want to achieve in your life? And what did you pick them? Or did some part of your past? Whether that’s a situation that you lived through an experience or whatever? Did you consciously choose them as what you want or not? So that’s a big area of what are you going for? What are you trying to achieve?

Joshua
23:29

Number two, is where are you now? So what part of your filtering? Like, do you, have you ever lied to yourself? Or are you? Are there any kind of filtering? Could could there be some filtering, like if you just played a game with yourself and said, All right, I think that this is absolutely true, where I am right now, but what if it wasn’t? And then just look at it and see, like, you know, objectively be the objective observer. So that’s the second list.

Joshua
24:02

The third list or subject areas to think about is where is it that you could go, and I know a lot of people ask this question, if you couldn’t fail, what would you go for? I like looking at it if you were guaranteed success, what would you do? And it’s really sad, but when you when you first start this as an adult, and I’ve done this with thousands of students, I’ve asked them and I’ve played the three wishes game with them and they said the only rules about the three wishes game is that you can’t wish for more wishes as the last wish. You have to use them up on something. What would you do like if there was no limits and you could wish for?

Joshua
24:45

And I don’t know that I’ve ever had anybody go really all out and say, I would do this and here’s what it would look like and you know, I mean, maybe they’ll say billionaire or millionaire but they Always caveats, like I, I can make I can make such a difference if I had this.

Joshua
25:05

And really what they’re saying is that that they try to put a dollar figure on it as opposed to really dreaming about what what do you want to do? Who would you want to be? Where would you want to go? What what types of things would you create? Where would that look lead you? Where would you lead the world, in your little piece of it, whether it’s the whole world or your corner of it.

Joshua
25:30

And just start dreaming again, but from a place of possibility, not a place of limitation. A place of anything’s possible that fight you that inner five year old, or that inner bold molder that anything’s possible? What would you do? Where would you go?

Joshua
25:47

And is that, when you compare it to the first blind spot of what am I trying to achieve, is there a big gap there? Because chances are, there is a huge gap.

Joshua
25:57

And then you get to see like, Well, alright, well, maybe I’m really working in the right vein of what I’m trying to achieve there. But I’m, I’m like, playing not to lose, I’m I’m playing defensively because I don’t want to get my hopes up again, it hurts too much, to dream about something to get my hopes up and then to have it dashed. And when you realize that it’s not having it dashed, that is not something that’s being inflicted on you then in that it doesn’t mean anything.

Joshua
26:28

Then when you when you have that freedom, … And you come up from the NLP side, I come at it from my own, you know, school of hard knocks and experience doing this stuff. And really a lot of NLP went in there a lot of personal development, a lot of, you know, just my nice self reflection, meditation, mindfulness on my part, and a ton of experimenting on my part, so I get what you’re saying and all of it, it all comes back to universal stuff.

Joshua
26:57

You know, we’re all … we’re all one. We’re all part of the whole big picture here. So that’s my, my thoughts there.

Dr.Wayne
27:05

So make the three lists for each of the blind spots. What are your current goals? Are they really yours or not? Where are you at now? Where might you be not accurate and honest about that? And then where are you going? And where can that be bigger? is how I interpreted that.

Joshua
27:24

It’s great. Yeah, thank you for summing that up. If you just said that to begin with, then we could have cut out 20 minutes.

Dr.Wayne
27:32

Yeah, but when … the whole journey is part of it, right? Yeah, just shortcutting like, that’s that whole thing of, oh, I just want the money. Yeah, but we’ve seen how many people win the lottery, and immediately lose it because I don’t know how to retain it. Or I’ve earned a million dollars. And now I’m gonna lose it again, so that I can earn it again. Right? So depending on those unconscious beliefs, …

Joshua
27:56

Well, and what was the driver? Right? Like, okay, so I became a millionaire, and but what was driving it? You know, and, and for the large part of that time, yes, I wanted to do something. And I was doing something big and meaningful, and I was enjoying what I was doing to earn the money, but it was so that it would fix me.

Joshua
28:18

And so like, the whole time that I’m doing it that I’m working on these things, I felt broken, I felt incomplete. I felt like a loser I felt like a fraud. And how can you possibly have a happy ending when those are what you’re doing at that point when you get there, so you’re, you know that and that’s all part of the unconscious conditioning, all of it.

Joshua
28:40

And it was controlling my life that controlled the roller coaster of the make money, lose money and all of that. It controlled, you know, everything.

Joshua
28:48

And how you do one thing in life is how you do everything in life. You know, so wherever that shows up for me in what I think is Oh, it’s just, I just, I just have this one piece of the puzzle and then but everything else in my life is perfect. Well now, if this is really the zero factor, so it’s showing up in multiple areas of my life anyway. We’re getting into future episodes.

Dr.Wayne
29:11

Foreshadowing. Yes, exactly. I like that we’ll talk in more depth about a bunch of these topics, which is great. So any quick closing thoughts as we wrap up this for the day?

Joshua
29:23

Only that I would highly recommend that they download your special Post Pandemic Abundance Playbook so that they can …

Joshua
29:32

Because it’s free and this is really literally a playbook that can help you make sense of all of this and put it not just make sense of it in terms of understanding but make sense of it in terms of putting it into action for yourself with your blueprints and your worksheets that are part of the whole process is 28 page, PDF download. That’s available on Gumroa. If you go to PostPandemicAbundance.com it’ll redirect you straight to the Gumroad download area. And I think you’ll really enjoy that. And that will be that’ll take you a long way towards having this as kind of like textbook or workbook to work along with us with these shows.

Dr.Wayne
30:22

I’m glad you asked me to write that up. It was just fun to do. And I hope it will make a big difference in lots of people’s lives. So …

Joshua
30:28

I love it. And I know it already has. I’ve gotten some positive feedback from folks. And I’m sure you have to and one of the questions that we’re getting is Why are you giving it away for free? And …

Dr.Wayne
30:42

That is not a “today” answer. So …

Joshua
30:44

No, it’s not. But, it is so good that we could be selling it for sure.

Dr.Wayne
30:50

Yeah. All right. I appreciate what we’ve we’ve covered today, and I think we should probably wrap on this episode and come back next time for more.

Joshua
31:00

Good then let’s do our salute.